At present, we’re still under lockdown here in the UK and it kind of feels like the months are slowly rolling into one. I’m starting to forget what ‘normal’ feels like and wondering when – or if – things will ever truly go back to the way they used to be post-coronavirus.
At the moment, I’m still working from home so that’s been keeping me busy and in a routine. My activities outside of that have been very much limited to a weekly supermarket trip and bi-weekly walk; the latter entirely depending on how motivated I’m feeling on any given day but the blooms that have been gracing the trees are worth a lap around the block at least.
We’ve been having lots of virtual ‘nights out’ and quizzes with friends and family and let me tell you something; I think we’ve all been missing a trick with this one. Virtual socialising is genius. You can stay home in your trackies and roll straight into bed after one too many rums with your mates. Brilliant.
I’ve been baking quite a bit too (when I can find the ingredients; flour seems to be the new pasta/toilet roll) and the old school vanilla traybake that I shared a few weeks ago is my current favourite. I’m going to make a batch of chocolate orange brownies next week and give this orange and rhubarb cake from Claire at She Eats a go as it sounds bloody lovely.
I finally started doing yoga this month because hi, my name’s Lisa and I’m an absolute cliche. I’ve been dabbling with the practice on and off for the last few years and am now trying to stay disciplined by doing a short session every day; I feel like my body is already becoming stronger and I’m excited to see how this progresses. I also rekindled my love for embroidery and started two new projects in April.
Oh and I downloaded TikTok in a sad little effort to bond with my teenage daughter and discovered that a lot of people on TikTok love cat videos as much as I do. So I happily obliged, spent a whole Sunday putting shit voiceovers on videos of my cats and now they are proving popular – an unexpected twist in the lockdown surrealness for sure but maybe I’ve finally found my people (in an app designed for teenagers no less).
As with most other people right now, I keep flitting between being low and teary to angry and frustrated to hopeful and grateful. I feel like acceptance has been a big emotion for me recently which makes things easier. In my last post, I talked about how I felt like I was on the brink of something quite dangerous and I’m making an active effort to try and not hit that point again.
One thing that I’m finding hard is the intense pang of pining for my loved ones. Again, my eldest girl is staying with her boyfriend during lockdown. Even though she’s almost 20 years old, this is the longest time we’ve ever spent apart and frankly, it fucking sucks. I miss having breakfast with my dad and him telling me about his cats. I miss just grabbing coffee with my friends. But I would 100 per cent stay at home for another three months if keeps us all a bit safer.
I’m also learning some harsh lessons about myself, some rather unsavoury ones actually. I’m normally good at controlling my emotions but the uncertainty of what we’re living in is making me less patient and understanding than I’d like to admit. I’m always banging on about being kinder to others but fell right off my own bandwagon this week.
I’ve been waiting to hear back from a certain festival organiser with an update as most others have cancelled and they hadn’t to date. I received an email this week confirming that it will be going ahead this July as planned and they are looking into what social distancing measures they can implement. In my outrage at such a seemingly irresponsible decision, I immediately took to Twitter and publically expressed my concern and anger at how tone-deaf they’re being.
The next morning, I realised that I’d probably been hasty and not considered the massive, awful impact this is having on the industry. It looks like insurers are finding any excuse not to pay out and many festivals may well go under if they cancel. I won’t be attending anyway as I don’t feel comfortable putting myself in that situation but I admittedly should have stepped back a bit and had a little compassion for the different struggles that we’re all facing at the moment. A learning curve if nothing else.
We watched a lot of television in April. I finally finished Ozark which was one of the best dramas I’ve seen in ages. Me and Lucie binge-watched Frozen 2, The Gentleman, Inside Out, Birds of Prey and me and Adam smashed though the new Lion King and got all emosh at THAT scene, Tiger King (fucking hell, what a ride that was), Tolkien, Quiz and the new seasons of Killing Eve and After Life.
I know that Ricky Gervias is very much a Marmite kind of guy but I have strong feelings about After Life; I can’t praise him enough for creating such a relatable, quietly moving and well-written programme and it embodies all of the ugly, mundane and heartwrenching moments of life after loss perfectly.
A great month of viewing I’d say. How has your April been?